(Kiss my lips to return) Ê

Below are a list of my most successful chat up lines. I have used all of these at one stage or another and can guarantee that they have all proved a success. Please bear in mind that even someone who has success with women such as yours-truly will always get knocked back once in a while. So don't despair if you do not get lucky the first time you use one of these lines. Remember, he who dares, wins.

Don't forget to sign my guest book

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.

Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes?Ê

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

My name's.............. That's so you know what to scream.

My name's.............. but you can call me "lover."

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

Can I flirt with you?

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?": Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

[Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?